Sunday, February 28, 2010

Lone Ranger Skit

Materials:
4 hats, 4 guns, 2 masks, lighters, costumes

Characters:
Ranger, Jeb, Cal, Sheriff, Jerimy, Tim, Joe

Directions:
The radio story needs to be memorized. The script can be found here:

http://www.genericradio.com/show.php?id=1975f5a375929e64

Grecian Urn Skit

Materials:
togas, water, music

Characters:
4-5 Greeks

Directions:
Four or five people spit water in a ballerina type fashion making a human fountain while going along with the music. It works well for each person to have a pitcher of water.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Bus Stop Skit

Materials:
bus stop scene, 2 trench coats, Lion Sleeps Tonight music, random props

Characters:
bus passengers, 2 pick-pockets

Directions:
All of the leaders can be in this one. Everyone is sitting at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. Two people with trench-coats on are also there. These two get into a conversation about how every day they all come to the same bus stop but never interact. One starts singing the Lion Sleeps Tonight song, the other person joins in, gradually everyone is doing it until they are all dancing around singing. One person says that the bus is there, and the group acts like they are getting on (leaving the room). The first two people stay back and start pulling things out of there jacket asking each other what they got (they were pick-pocketing all the others while they were dancing).

Who’s On First Skit

Materials:
2 baseball uniforms

Characters:
Abbot, Costello

Directions:
(This is an Abbot and Costello skit. You will need to memorize the script and baseball uniforms work well for this one.)
Abbott: Well Costello, I'm going to New York with you. You know Bucky Harris, the Yankee's manager, gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.
Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players.
Abbott: I certainly do.
Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.
Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.
Costello: You mean funny names?
Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...
Costello: His brother Daffy.
Abbott: Daffy Dean...
Costello: And their French cousin.
Abbott: French?
Costello: Goofè.
Abbott: Goofè Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...
Costello: That's what I want to find out.
Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third.
Costello: Are you the manager?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: You gonna be the coach too?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names?
Abbott: Well I should.
Costello: Well then who's on first?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: I mean the fellow's name.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy on first.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The first baseman.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy playing...
Abbott: Who is on first!
Costello: I'm asking YOU who's on first.
Abbott: That's the man's name.
Costello: That's who's name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's who?
Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta first baseman?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who's playing first?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy that gets...
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Who gets the money...
Abbott: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Costello: Whose wife?
Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Abbott: What's wrong with that?
Costello: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The guy.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: How does he sign...
Abbott: That's how he signs it.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.

PAUSE

Costello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Abbott: No. What is on second base.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: One base at a time!
Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.
Costello: I'm not changing nobody!
Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.
Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.
Costello: Ok.
Abbott: All right.

PAUSE

Costello: What's the guy's name on first base?
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him.
Costello: Now how did I get on third base?
Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.
Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Abbott: No. Who's playing first.
Costello: What's on first?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott: He's on third.
Costello: There I go, back on third again!

PAUSE

Costello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it.
Abbott: All right, what do you want to know?
Costello: Now who's playing third base?
Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Costello: What am I putting on third.
Abbott: No. What is on second.
Costello: You don't want who on second?
Abbott: Who is on first.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together:Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.
Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Abbott: Who's playing first.
Costello: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field?
Abbott: No, What is on second.
Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Abbott: Who's on first!
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: The left fielder's name?
Abbott: Why.
Costello: Because!
Abbott: Oh, he's centerfield.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?
Abbott: Sure.
Costello: The pitcher's name?
Abbott: Tomorrow.
Costello: You don't want to tell me today?
Abbott: I'm telling you now.
Costello: Then go ahead.
Abbott: Tomorrow!
Costello: What time?
Abbott: What time what?
Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break your arm, you say who's on first! I want to know what's the pitcher's name?
Abbott: What's on second.
Costello: I don't know.
Abbott & Costello Together: Third base!

PAUSE

Costello: Gotta a catcher?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: The catcher's name?
Abbott: Today.
Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.
Abbott: Now you've got it.
Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team.

PAUSE

Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.
Abbott: So they tell me.
Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?
Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about!

PAUSE

Abbott: That's all you have to do.
Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.
Abbott: Yes!
Costello: Now who's got it?
Abbott: Naturally.

PAUSE

Costello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Naturally?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's different.
Costello: That's what I said.
Abbott: You're not saying it...
Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Abbott: You throw it to Who.
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: That's what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I throw the ball to who?
Abbott: Naturally.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You throw the ball to Who?
Costello: Naturally.
Abbott: That's it.
Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said I don't give a darn!
Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Irate Neighbor Skit

Materials:
cream pie

Characters:
angry neighbor

Directions:
(For this skit to work, you need to have the angry neighbor be played by an adult who the kids do not know. A good idea is a man on your committee. It's crucial that no kid recognizes this guy, though.)
First appearance: angry neighbor knocks on the door loudly, claiming a car is parking his driveway (which is a leaders car, and they go out to move it). Angry neighbor is slightly ticked off, and asks for everybody to try and hold it down a little.

Second appearance: after a song (preferably a loud one), angry neighbor knocks again louder, and is angry because of the noise. He asks who's in charge of this, and a leader tries to calm him down. The neighbor says stuff like he just got home from a long day at work, and he can't relax with all the noise. He's a little louder this time, and a little more confrontational. After the leader reassures the angry neighbor, he leaves. By this time, the kids probably can't believe what a jerk this guy is.

Third and last appearance: a few minutes later, during one more really loud song, (or a loud game, or anything loud) he busts in the door, and gets right in the leaders face, poking him in the chest, telling him he's going to call the police if he doesn't shut this "meeting" down immediately. Then, the leader starts to get mad back. He reaches behind something, (a counter or anything) and produces a cream pie and smashes it in the face of the angry neighbor, then grabs him by his shirt and throws him out the door. The kids either are hooting and hollering, or are freaked out that the leader would actually do something like that.

Next, (and this is important) the leader brings the angry neighbor back in, and tells everybody it's all a gag. This skit is a great way to introduce the kids to a guy on committee (who doesn't mind getting thrashed), and also show another adult who loves YL and kids.

Remember: if one kid knows about it early, it'll probably blow the whole thing. You can't do this very often, not even once a year, because a kid will probably remember it, and then pipe up during club. Have fun!

Da Tre Berrese Skit (an Italian Fairy Tale)

Materials:
costumes

Characters:
narrator, Mama berre, Papa berre, Bebi berre, Goldilachese

Directions:
(Narrator reads and kids or leaders act out.)
Uans oppona taim ues tre Berrese. Mama berre, Papa berre, e Bebi berre live ine contri nire foresta…naise aus.

Unno dai, pappa, mama, e bebi go tuda biche anie forghette locha di dorre. Bai en bai commese Goldilachese. Schi garra nattinghe tudo batta meiche troble.

Schi puschie olle fudde daon di naute. No leve cromme. Dan schi gos appesterese enne slipse in alle beddse…leise slobbe!

Bai enne bai commese omme de tre berrese. Alle sonnebrande enne sandinna scius. Dei garra no fudde; garra no beddse en wara dei goine due to Goldilachese? Tro erre inne strit? Colle pullisemenne? Fette cienze! Dei vas Italian berres!

Goldilachese stei derra tre unniddase. Schi etta aute auseun homme. Ongusta becose dei asche erra to meiche de beddse schi sai "go jumpe in di lache!" enne runne omma criane tu erra mam, tellen erre vat sansigunses di tre berres vor!

Vatsi use? Varrjugoine du? Go complieneto sittiole?

De ende!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Commercial Skits

Materials:
various

Characters:
various

Directions:
Any commercial can be fair game for a one-timer skit. Keep your eyes open. For example, mocking the milk commercials have worked well. Also, you could use a little puppet with a kid’s face on it like the Nike Little Penny Hardaway commercials.

Talk Show Travesty Skit

Materials:
costumes, 3 chairs

Characters:
guest female, tough guy, burnout guy, host

Directions:
Here’s your chance to mock the favorite daytime talk show trash of your choice. Do it up like any show you wish. Today your guests are students who their whole life have only used one word. One guest female only say "OK" (flightily) to everything, one large tough guy only says "dude," and a third burnout guy only says "whoa."

You begin with the girl. Questions are like: What has life been like for you? How do you communicate with your parents? How do you do in school?" She answers these with some undertones to each OK. Your host mentions that peer pressure sure must be tough in today’s school. Would she jump off a bridge if her friends did? She hesitates with a thoughtful face, then perks up dizzily and says OK.

Next you work on the burnout "whoa" guy. Ask him questions about how he feels about things. For example, what do you think about your life? How does your girlfriend feel about this? What do you feel when kids pick on you? He answers each with undertones to match his whoas.

Finally you work on the "dude." He answers each similar question with an attitude or excitement depending on the question. The interviewer is concerned that these people can’t really communicate so he goes to the audience with questions. Kids planted in the audience ask the dude guy what he’d do if someone stole his bike. He grabs a chair and swings it around while yelling violently "dude!" The kid with the questions shakes his head and says "right on man! I hear you!"

The interviewer shrugs his shoulders and says he wants to watch each of he guys ask the girl out on a date. Dude guy turns to her and says real romantically and with the nod of a head to the door "dude." She looks lovingly at him and sighs "OK." Dude guy acts all cocky then. Whoa boy then turns to her and caresses her cheek and says whoa real intensely. She sighs and reaches for his hand and says "OK." He smiles and she moves closer to him. Dude guy comes over to whoa boy and says toughly "Dude!" Whoa boy acts all scared and says "whoa, whoa" defensively.

Soon they scuffle and dude guy picks up whoa boy and tosses him out. He leaves yelling "whoa." Dude turns to OK girl and offers his hand. She takes it and say "OK!" They walk off happily together. Your host wraps up and tells them to tune in tomorrow for more.