Sunday, October 25, 2009

Beverly Hills 90210 - The Lost Episode Skit

Materials:
costumes

Characters:
Brenda, Brandon, Mr. and Mrs. Walsh, Donna, Dylan, Bow Wow (Dylan's new dog), the lamp, the doorbell, the table, the chair

Directions:
(Narrator reads and kids or leaders act out and repeat their lines.)

(Enter Brenda and Brandon)
Brandon: "Hey, Bren, whats up?"
Brenda: "Not much, Brandon. What do you think of my new hairstyle?" (Runs left hand slowly through hair then smiles a subltle smile.)
Brandon: "I don't know, Bren. Let me turn the lamp on so I can see you better." (Turns 3-way lamp on brightest setting. Lamp gains intensity from each of 3 arm pulls. Brandon gets look of horror on his face. Brenda gets look of anguish on her face. Brandon screams loudly. Brenda screams louder.)
Brenda: "What's the matter?"
Brandon: "Nothin' sis. I just thought that I saw a bunch of rattlesnakes on you read, but it was probabaly just poor lighting."

(Enter Mr. and Mrs. wash. He sits in the chair. She briefly sits on his lap, then decides to sit on the table.)
Brenda: (whining voice) "Mom, Dad, Brandon just insulted me."
Mrs. Walsh: (hands on hips, sighs heavily) "Now, Brandon, apologize to your sister."
Mr. Walsh: (scowls, then says sternly) "Yes, Brandon, Apologize, but Brenda, first go take that owl's nest off your head."

(Doorbell rings. Enter Donna, hopping up and down ever so slightly; and Dylan, swaggering and studly.)
Dylan: (wrinkles forehead) "Hey, everybody."
Everyone: "Hey, Dylan."
Dylan: "Do you mind if my new dog Bow Wow comes in?"
Mr. Walsh: "No problem, but if he makes a mess on the floor, you have to clean it up."
Dylan: "No problem, big guy. I'll just use that floor mop on top of Brenda's head. Come in, Bow Wow."

(Doorbell rings, Bow Wow enters panting heavily, says his name, sniffs Donna's ankle.)
Donna: "Ooooooh. Icky ucky, pooh. He's slobbering on my new outfit."

(Bow Wow says his name again, moves over to the lamp, thinks about doing something lies on his back with feet pointed in the air instead.)
Brenda: (looks enviously at Donna) "Nice outfit, Donna, where'd you get it from?"
Donna: (giggles, scrunches her nose) "From Pierre's-To-Go on the Boulevard. I wanted one of those maroon and white outfit like those kids at ISS wear, but they were all out. Nice hair, by the way - I didn't know that you got the part of the scarecrow in the school play."
Brenda: (whining again) "Mom, Dad, I just can't face the kids at school looking like this. That hunky Trevor Wimer guy that I want to notice me won't even take a second look."
Mrs. Walsh: (smiling as only a mother smiles) "Well, we were going to wait until tonight to tell you our surprise, but I guess we'll tell you now instead. Go ahead, honey."
Mr. Walsh: (smiling as only a father smiles) "Just this morning I was eating my third bowl of Frosted Chocolate-Covered-Sugar-Bombs cereal, when I found a Lucky Draw ticket in the box, it said that my wife, two kids, two of their friends, and one of their friends' pets (the other characters look at each other and nod; Bow Wow says his name and smiles a doggy smile) had just won a free three-week trip around the world. Wowsy, huh!"
Brandon: (exhales while shaking his head slowly) "Wowsy, indeed, Pop, but I can't go, and my guess is that Bren, Dylan, Donna, and Bow Wow aren't interested, either."
Brenda, Dylan, Donna, Bow Wow: "That's right, Mr. and Mrs. Walsh - but thanks for the offer."
Dylan: (wrinkling forehead again) "A three-week trip would mean three weeks away from Young Life, and that's something I can't deal with. Those (leader's names) dudes and their friends are some of the hippest folks I know. Plus, they give me hair advice."
Brenda: (stroking Dylan's hair) "Wow, do you think they can help me with mine?"

(Everyone looks bewildered. Doorbell rings. All but Bow Wow rush to answer it and leave. Brenda starts to cry. Bow Wow licks her hand, and Brenda screams and starts to chase him. Bow Wow knocks over the lamp, the chair, then the table. Brenda chases him out the door.)

The Homecoming Dance Skit

Materials:
uniforms, flowers, telephone, music, lipstick, lemon, mouthwash, Lysol

Characters:
Joan Junior, Stanley Stud, Freddy Freshman, Barlow the Dog, Couch and Table

Directions:
(Narrator reads and kids or leaders act out and repeat their lines.)

Also, include dropping someone on a table, dog licking face, flexing muscles and a kiss on the cheek. Costumes are very important.

Our story opens and the home of beautiful Joan Junior, five days before the homecoming dance. Joan is sad and forlorn because she has no date for the dance. She sits on the couch and pets her dog Barlow, saying, "Oh Barlow, I feel like such a low-life scum poodle... I wish someone would invite me to the homecoming dance." Barlow sensing his owner's displeasure, licks her hand, slobbers on the couch, and lies down. Joan rubs her nose and gazes off into the distance sighing.

Suddenly the phone rings (ring). Joan wipes her arm on the dog and picks up the phone. Stanley Study, a cool, highly attractive and all-around legend-in-his-own-mind kind of a guy is on the other end. He says he would like to come over and ask Joan something very important. Joan says, "I'll be waiting for you here, liver lips."

Joan knows that Stanley Study is coming over to ask her to the dance. Realizing that she is short on time to get ready, she does her lip exercises, bites a lemon so she can pucker up for tonsil hockey, puts on lipstick, gargles and sprays herself with Lysol.

Suddenly there is a knock at the door. The dog barks and wags its tail, Joan yells, "coming my little sweet treat." Joan flings open the door, only to find that it's not Stanley Stud but Freddy Freshman holding flowers and drooling at her door. "What do you want, you pencil neck geek?"

Freddy hand her the flowers, gets down on his knees, ans says timidly while drooling "O Joan, I realize that I am nothing but a utter scraping amoeba but would you go to the dance with me?" Joan kicks him and says, "Not on your life moose breath!"

Suddenly there is another knocks at the door. Joan opens to find suave, hip and sophisticated Stanly Stud, who says, "Hi Joan, it is I, Stanley Stud."

Joan nearly faints, falls into Stanley's arms and say, "Stanley, you're so hot!" Stanley says, "You're so right!" Stanley suddenly sees Freddy on the floor and says, "What's that pond scum doing here?"

Before Joan can answer Freddy jumps to his feet and says "I've come to ask Joan to the dance, you highly mature and excellent dude." Barlow wags his tail, licks Freddy's hand and burps. Stanley laughs and says, "That will be the day!"

Freddy suddenly gets an idea, "Tell you what, let's have a dance contest and the winner gets to take Joan to the homecoming dance, okay?" Stanley laughs so hard he falls down. Then he gets up and says, "You turnip head, everybody knows that I'm the best and funkiest dancer in the whole school! You won't have a chance!"

The music comes on and Stanley dances with Joan. After they are done, Stanley turns to Freddy and says, "Beat that buckaroo!"

Suddenly Freddy starts to shake, the lights go off, and the music comes on. Freddy dances like no one on earth. As the lights come on, Joan screams, "Freddy, you're my hero! Not only will I go to the dance with you, I'll even pay for dinner!" The two go off hand in hand. At the close, we see Stanley Study standing in the room weeping. Barlow the dog comes over and licks his hand and walks out.

Act Like A Monkey Game

Materials:
Blindfolds

Directions:
Select three kids to compete for the best, most outrageous monkey impersonation. Blindfold three people, then tell them to all act like monkeys, but take the blindfolds off all but one. Have the others make monkey noises.