Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Peanut Whistlers Skit

Materials:
cardboard, markers, shirts, shorts

Characters:
dancing heads

Directions:
Take a large piece of cardboard and make tall top hats (to cover head arms and chest). Guys take off shirts draw faces on stomachs (belly buttons as mouths). Put shirts on waists and shorts below that. Play music with whistling (Globe-Trotters, middle of Walk like an Egyptian by the Go Go’s) and let them dance through the room.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

"The Game" Skit

Materials:
costumes, glasses and bottles, pistols, deck of cards, table, 6 chairs

Characters:
Bartender, Gaylord Ravenal, Honest Tom Foolery, Just Plain Bill, Injun Joe, Manual Labor, Dirty Bert

Directions:
(Narrator reads and kids or leaders act out and repeat their lines for... THE GAME!)
Perhaps you didn't know it, but for the past 25 years, has been the scene of a momentous occasion. In truth, this epic of the Old West has been going on for much more than a mere quarter century. We must go back to the thrilling era of yesteryear, when great herds of buffalo grazed the plains and bandits held up stage coaches. Yes, for many years in the boom town, now ghost town of Hudsonville, six men brought together by circumstances too unbelievable to believe - got ready to begin on an adventure that would strike feat into the hearts of men everywhere, and the adventure was called... THE GAME!

Every year these initial players played again in the same town this terrible game only they knew so well. Now the descendants of those men still keep alive the tradition sacred to their hearts by meeting once a year playing... THE GAME!

You have probably figured out by now that tonight, yes tonight, is the night that these men will meet and tonight here at , honored for the past 25 years by the players as their playing ground, will be played the most fantastic game. It is truly the most amazing phenomenon of the age... THE GAME! Truly it is a game of crime, of mystery, yes, even of death!

First there was Gaylord Ravenal 0f the notorious Mississippi Riverboat Gambler. For him, to win and lose a whole stake in one evening of pleasure is strictly commonplace. He is sly, underhanded and deadly with a pistol. Through the years many prizes have crossed the table his way, tonight he has traveled many miles at great expense for the sole purpose of mending his reputation.

Gaylord: (Comes in; fixes gun, has cigarette in mouth, shuffles the cards, and then misses.)

Second there was Honest Tom Foolery - the sheriff from Cut-up Creek. Old Tom is one of the best sheriffs money can buy. Tom never runs from trouble. But of course, he never looks for it either. Tom is a friend of gunmen, gamblers, train-robbers, horse thieves, and claims jumpers; he also has many enemies as a result of... THE GAME!

Tom: (Acts cocky, steps up to bar, watches Gaylord.. orders drink, gets it poured all over him.)

Third , there is Just Plain Bill - this is a man as hard as the rocks he digs. We would like to say more, but we can't because he is just plain Bill.

Bill: (Stumbles in, acts out of it.)

He has come for... THE GAME!

Fourth, there is Injun Joe 0f the last of the famous Apaches, one of Geronimo's right hand braves. Strong, silent, ruthless, and just plain mean. The scalps of many men have hung from his belt, some of them gathered in... THE GAME!

Joe: (Comes in and sits down, looks mean. Gaylord deal cards here. Bartender pours drinks.)

Fifth, there is Manual Labor. He's old fashioned and that's how he likes to play... THE GAME!

Manual: (Just sits down.)

And finally, there is Dirty Bert - dirtier than the dirtiest dirt. He was reared by a grizzly bear, educated by a coyote, whips his horse with a rattle snake. A ripsnorting, gun slinging, fist fighting, tough skinned galloot. Most feared hombre west of Pecos. He's been in so many wars that he is known in these parts as Pin Cushion Pete.

Bert: (Comes in, brushes off dirt, then pulls arrows out of body, looks at everyone’s cards, then knocks Manual Labor off chair after taking his cards. When Manual Labor pulls knife, Gaylord shoots him; bartender drags him out.)

Cards are re-dealt.

Bill: (Starts by sneaking cards.)
Joe: (Cuts off his hand.)
Bill: (Goes for Joe.)
Gaylord: (Shoots Bill; Bartender drags him out. Then hypnotizes Injun Joe and takes the cards he wants from him, then wakes him up. Bartender keeps pouring drinks and while watching game, pours drink on Honest Tom Foolery’s head.)
Bert: (Points out toward imaginary object and while all are looking, he takes all cards in the middle of the table.)

(Start with Injun Joe and each man gambles more and more, upping with more money and then objects until finally someone calls. Then, one at a time each man puts down his cards until Dirty Bert finally lays down his last card.)

Bert: (yells, frustrated) "Oh man, I’m the Old Maid again this year!" (Or, use whatever kids game kids in club would know.)


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Statue In The Park Skit

Materials:
small bottle of water

Characters:
statue, Prof. Arthritic Kneecap

Directions:
(Narrator reads and kids or leaders act out and repeat their lines. The skit begins with one person posing as a statue in the park (the thinker or the discus thrower). Another person introduces himself as Prof. Arthritic Kneecap, of the University of Amputation and Mutilation.)
After a long study the professor has discovered a way to revitalize the calcium deposited in joints of the human body, the painful and crippling effect of arthritis. In fact his solution will bring life to almost any old lump of calcium.

Professor: "Even this old statue." (He pours the bottle on the statue's head. Slowly it comes to life.)
Statue: "Boy, I've been standing like that for 1500 years."
Professor: "What is the first thing you want to do?"
Statue: "Kill 5000 pigeons with my bare hands!"

Friday, December 25, 2009

Granny's Candy Store Skit

Materials:
3 five-year-old costumes, granny costume

Characters:
Granny, 3 chairs, 3 five-year-old kids

Directions:
Paint a verbal picture of the various kids acting as three chairs in Granny's store. Have three guys standing there, but with no parts to play. Have three kids come dressed up as five-year-olds. They ask granny for licorice, and she regretfully tells them she has none, they ask for several other kinds of candy and each time she says she just ran out. Finally, disgustedly, the little kids ask what kind she does have, and she says all she has left is these three suckers standing over here in the corner.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Coke Commercial Skit

Materials:
coke bottle, bottle opener

Characters:
4 people

Directions:
Have one person standing, holding an unopened coke bottle, the next fellow holding a bottle opener, the other two doing nothing. The skit opens with the first examining the bottle very closely, then he passes it it on to the next. He opens the bottle and passes it on to the third person, he guzzles the entire thing and passes the empty bottle to the next person. The last person looks at the empty bottle with a sick look and burps as loud as he can.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Pick Pocket Skit

Materials:
2 trench coats, hats, watch, boxers, car keys, license plate, pacifier, liver, other ridiculous items

Characters:
Freddy Fingers and Hands Harry

Directions:
"Freddy Fingers" and "Hands Harry" meet and embrace each other. They tell where they've been in the last few years (like what prisons they were in, etc.), and as they say goodbye, one says to the other, "Oh you may want this." He give him back his watch. The exchange of articles that they have picked up from each other until one of them hands back the other's pair of boxers.

The thieves can also have a competition and embrace several times and show what they've stolen. The items that were stolen can escalate to a ridiculous level (i.e., car key, then license plate of the car, going back in time and stealing the pacifier from when they were a baby, their liver, etc.). Just be creative and practice. If done right, it'll bring the house down.

Herman The Trained Flea Skit

Materials:
none

Characters:
flea trainer

Directions:
The trainer has a flea do various tricks, when suddenly he loses Herman. After searching for a while, a girl is brought forth who has the flea in her hair. The punch line is, "hey, wait a menute, this isn't Herman!" Really play it up.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Rindercella And The Prandsome Hince (Young Life Moral Ending) Skit

Materials:
none

Characters:
Narrator

Directions:
(Narrator reads.)
Once upon a time in a pall smillage lived a prettle litty girl named Rindercella. Rindercella live in a hall smouse wither her mep-stother and her three sigly usters. Rindercella wanted to go to the bancy fall at the castle of the prandsome hince, but her three sigly usters made Rindercella flop the moors and hay at the stome (said with sadness).

After the three sigly usters had gone to the bancy fall, a gairy fodmother appeared and told Rindercella she could go to the bancy fall too. She waved her wagic mond and mad Rindercell a dretty press and some little slass grippers. Then she turned a kumpkin into a poach and four hats into roarses. But she had to be home when the strock cluck 12.

When Rindercella arrived at the sastle in her dretty prittle press the prandsome hince lell in fove with her. Boy were her three sigly usters mad... wow!! Then the prandsome hince and Rindercella pranced and pranced (demonstrate stupidly) all evening, but when the strock cluck 12, she ran stown the deps into the night. But the prandsome hince had noticed that Rindercella had slopped her dripper!

The prandsome hince knew if he could find the gretty pirl whose tootsy would fit the dripper, he would find his fove.

(Suspensefully...) Meanwhile, the gairy fodmother was so mad Rindercella had slopped her dripper she turned Rindercella into a rat and put her in the kumpkin! The prandsome hince came to their smouse and made the three sigly usters try on the dripper. Unfortunately, Matilda, the third of the three sigly usters fit the dripper. There was nothing left for the prandsome hince to do but to barry Matilda and they lived hunhappily ever ufter (sadly).

The storal of the mory is... when you go to a bancy fall, don't slop your dripper!

Ehe Thend!

Rindercella And The Prandsome Hince (Original Ending) Skit

Materials:
none

Characters:
Narrator

Directions:
(Narrator reads.)
Once upon a time in a coreign fountry there was a geautiful birl, whose name was Rindercella. And Rindercella had a mugly other and her two sigly usters. Also in this coreign fountry there was a prandsome hince and the prandsome hince was going to have bancy fall.

Rindercell's mugly other and her two sigly usters went out and brough dancy fresses for the bancy fall but poor Rindercella couldn't go because she had nothing but rirty dags. So on the night of the bancy fall, Rindercella's mugly other and her two sigly usters put on their dancy fresses and went to the bancy fall. And since poor Rindercella couldn't go she cat down and scried.

Suddenly, her gairy fodmother appeared before her and touched her with her wagic mond and turned her into a peautiful brincess and then gave her a kig boach and hix sorces so Rindercella could go to the bancy fall. So off went Rindercella. When she got to the bancy fall the pransome hince met her at the door. He had watched her come up in her kig boach and hix sorses from a widden hindow.

Rindercella and the prandsome hince danced all nigh long and the prandsome hince lell in fove with Rindercella. When the pransome hince was just about to quop the prestion, Rindercella heard the moke of stridnight so she turned, straced down the rairs and when she got to the stottom blep she slopped her dripper.

The next day the prandsome hince went all over his coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. When he go to Rindercell's house he tried it on her mugly other, but it fidn't dit! He tried it on her two sigly usters but it fidn't dit. And he tried it on Rindercella and it fid dit! So they were mappily harried and lived appily ever hafter.

Ehe Thend!