Sunday, December 27, 2009

"The Game" Skit

costumes, glasses and bottles, pistols, deck of cards, table, 6 chairs

Bartender, Gaylord Ravenal, Honest Tom Foolery, Just Plain Bill, Injun Joe, Manual Labor, Dirty Bert

(Narrator reads and kids or leaders act out and repeat their lines for... THE GAME!)
Perhaps you didn't know it, but for the past 25 years, has been the scene of a momentous occasion. In truth, this epic of the Old West has been going on for much more than a mere quarter century. We must go back to the thrilling era of yesteryear, when great herds of buffalo grazed the plains and bandits held up stage coaches. Yes, for many years in the boom town, now ghost town of Hudsonville, six men brought together by circumstances too unbelievable to believe - got ready to begin on an adventure that would strike feat into the hearts of men everywhere, and the adventure was called... THE GAME!

Every year these initial players played again in the same town this terrible game only they knew so well. Now the descendants of those men still keep alive the tradition sacred to their hearts by meeting once a year playing... THE GAME!

You have probably figured out by now that tonight, yes tonight, is the night that these men will meet and tonight here at , honored for the past 25 years by the players as their playing ground, will be played the most fantastic game. It is truly the most amazing phenomenon of the age... THE GAME! Truly it is a game of crime, of mystery, yes, even of death!

First there was Gaylord Ravenal 0f the notorious Mississippi Riverboat Gambler. For him, to win and lose a whole stake in one evening of pleasure is strictly commonplace. He is sly, underhanded and deadly with a pistol. Through the years many prizes have crossed the table his way, tonight he has traveled many miles at great expense for the sole purpose of mending his reputation.

Gaylord: (Comes in; fixes gun, has cigarette in mouth, shuffles the cards, and then misses.)

Second there was Honest Tom Foolery - the sheriff from Cut-up Creek. Old Tom is one of the best sheriffs money can buy. Tom never runs from trouble. But of course, he never looks for it either. Tom is a friend of gunmen, gamblers, train-robbers, horse thieves, and claims jumpers; he also has many enemies as a result of... THE GAME!

Tom: (Acts cocky, steps up to bar, watches Gaylord.. orders drink, gets it poured all over him.)

Third , there is Just Plain Bill - this is a man as hard as the rocks he digs. We would like to say more, but we can't because he is just plain Bill.

Bill: (Stumbles in, acts out of it.)

He has come for... THE GAME!

Fourth, there is Injun Joe 0f the last of the famous Apaches, one of Geronimo's right hand braves. Strong, silent, ruthless, and just plain mean. The scalps of many men have hung from his belt, some of them gathered in... THE GAME!

Joe: (Comes in and sits down, looks mean. Gaylord deal cards here. Bartender pours drinks.)

Fifth, there is Manual Labor. He's old fashioned and that's how he likes to play... THE GAME!

Manual: (Just sits down.)

And finally, there is Dirty Bert - dirtier than the dirtiest dirt. He was reared by a grizzly bear, educated by a coyote, whips his horse with a rattle snake. A ripsnorting, gun slinging, fist fighting, tough skinned galloot. Most feared hombre west of Pecos. He's been in so many wars that he is known in these parts as Pin Cushion Pete.

Bert: (Comes in, brushes off dirt, then pulls arrows out of body, looks at everyone’s cards, then knocks Manual Labor off chair after taking his cards. When Manual Labor pulls knife, Gaylord shoots him; bartender drags him out.)

Cards are re-dealt.

Bill: (Starts by sneaking cards.)
Joe: (Cuts off his hand.)
Bill: (Goes for Joe.)
Gaylord: (Shoots Bill; Bartender drags him out. Then hypnotizes Injun Joe and takes the cards he wants from him, then wakes him up. Bartender keeps pouring drinks and while watching game, pours drink on Honest Tom Foolery’s head.)
Bert: (Points out toward imaginary object and while all are looking, he takes all cards in the middle of the table.)

(Start with Injun Joe and each man gambles more and more, upping with more money and then objects until finally someone calls. Then, one at a time each man puts down his cards until Dirty Bert finally lays down his last card.)

Bert: (yells, frustrated) "Oh man, I’m the Old Maid again this year!" (Or, use whatever kids game kids in club would know.)

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