Wednesday, October 27, 2010

You Were Lucky #3 Skit

Materials:
3 chairs, 3 cups

Characters:
Theule, Becky, Werf

Directions:
Theule, Becky, and Werf sitting in the Old Time Diner, drinking coffee.

Theule: You know, 30 years ago we would have been lucky to have a cup of coffee. Cold coffee. Yes, without sugar or milk — or coffee. In a cracked and filthy cup. We used to be so poor that we would drink coffee out of a rolled-up newspaper.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! To have a newspaper, we used to have to suck our coffee out of a damp cloth. We were poor but we were happy, we were happy because we were poor.
Werf: My daddy said that dollars would never buy happiness, but that’s because he never had any money that dirty beggar. When I was a kid, we used to live in a house with big holes in the roof.
Theule: You had a house? You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes Lucky! We used to live in a bottle cap, 23 of us in the middle of Lake Michigan.
Werf: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! When I said it was a house, actually it was a room — all 36 of us, and we had only half a floor. We had a big hole in the middle of the floor and we used to huddle next to the wall for fear of falling in.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We used to live in a hallway.
Theule: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We used to live in an abandoned septic tank in the middle of the garbage dump.
Werf: You lived in a septic tank? You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We lived in a paper sack in the bottom of a toxic waste dump. Every morning we would awaken to nuclear waste being dumped on us until we glowed.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! Actually the hallway I was telling you about was no more than a hole on the ground covered with twigs.
Theule: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We were evicted from our hole. We had to live in the bottom of the lake.
Werf: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! To live in the bottom of the lake. There were 150 of us in a shoebox in the middle of the road. We dreamed of living in a lake.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! To live in a shoebox. We lived in a brown paper bag. All 300 of us! Got up at 6 a.m. and ate a crust of stale bread, and worked in the muck for 12 hours. When we got home Dad wold beat us and put us to bed with no dinner.
Theule: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We used to get up at 3 a.m., strain the lake clean with our teeth, eat up a cup of hot gravel, work 15 hours in the muck, and when we got home our Dad would beat us about the head and shoulders with a broken beer bottle and use us for kitty litter.
Werf: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! We dreamed of that! We used to live in a rusty tin can in the middle of the road. One hour after sunset we would clean the road with our tongues, eat a handful of cold gravel and work 20 hours in the muck with no pay! When we got home our Dad would cut us up with a gensu knife and use us for cheese fondue.
Becky: You were lucky! (Lucky?) Yes lucky! That was luxury. We used to get up in the morning at 10 at night — which was a half an hour before we went to bed — eat a hunk of dry poison — work 29 hours a day in the muck and when we go home our parents would kill us and dance around our grave singing, "Glory, Glory, Hallelujah."
Theule: But you tell that to the kids today and they simply don’t believe you.

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