Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Witch Skit

black hat, dress, long crooked nose, scraggly wig, broom

witch, good-looking guy

One is dressed up like a witch and the other guy is an average but good-looking young man who is extremely depressed and is about to commit suicide. As the skit begin, we find him ready to "end it all."

MAN: I can’t take it any longer! I've lost my family, my job, my friends, and my house burned down. Life is not worth living! I’m going to end it all right now.
WITCH: (Enters and speaks in a squeaky voice.) What are you doing, young man? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. (and other witch sounds)
MAN: Life just isn't worth living. I've lost all my friends, family, job, and all my possessions, and now I’m going to jump off this cliff and end it all.
WITCH: Oh no, don’t do that!
MAN: Why shouldn't I?
WITCH: Because, tee-hee, I’m a witch with magic powers and I can give you back everything you lost and more! I’ll grant you three wishes! Tee-hee-hee! Three wishes!!!
MAN: You mean that you can give me three wishes? Wow, that’s tremendous! I wouldn't have to end it all! Wait a minute. How do I know that your are telling me the truth? How do I know you are really a witch.?
WITCH: Of course, I’m a witch. Don’t I look like a witch? Ha ha ha ha hee hee hee. I’ll give you your three wishes in exchange for one small favor.
MAN: One favor? (skeptical) I knew there must be a catch. What do you want from me?
WITCH: Three kisses. It’s a fair exchange. Three wishes for three kisses!
MAN: I think I’ll just jump away
WITCH: Think of all you’ll be able to wish for in three wishes!
MAN: (He finally decides to go ahead with it, so he takes the witch in his arms, and begins to kiss her. After each kiss, the young man makes repulsive gesture, spitting each time. Extreme distaste is shown after the last kiss and with it a great sigh of relief. The witch on the other hand, shows extreme enjoyment with each time she is kissed). Okay, now that that is over, I want my three wishes.
WITCH: First of all, tell me how old you are sonny?
MAN: (He tells her his age.)
WITCH: And you still believe in witches at that age?? Hahahahaha-hehehehe (exits laughing to herself).

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