Monday, July 5, 2010

The Pencil Salesman Skit


sales manager, dumb salesman, customer

Manager: Now I want you to pay close attention to me so you can become a great salesman.
Salesman: Duh, okay.
Manager: First you hold your pencils in you hand and say, "Pencils for sale." Practice saying that.
Salesman: Pencils for sale, pencils for sale, etc.
Manager: Okay, that’s enough. Next, the first question people will ask you is "How much are they?" and you will say "Ten cents. Three for a quarter."
Salesman: "Ten cents. Three for a quarter."
Manager: Right. They will ask you, "What color are they?" and you will tell them, "Yellow."
Salesman: "Yellow, yellow"
Manager: Good. Then the person will buy one or else he will say, "No, I don’t want to buy one" and you will say, "If you don’t, somebody else will."
Salesman: If you don’t somebody else will.
Manager: Very good. Now, let’s practice it once and then you are on your own. (They go through the questions and answers).

Now the salesman is alone on the street corner calling out "Pencils for sale." The first customer enters in a hurry, the salesman doesn’t notice him, turns around, hits the customer and knocks him to the ground. He gets up, begins to dust off angrily.

Customer: (outraged) Do you know how much this suit cost me?
Salesman: Ten cents, three for a quarter.
Customer: (furious now) What’s the matter with you? What do you think I am?
Salesman: Yellow.
Customer: Say, would you like me to punch you in the nose?
Salesman: If you don’t somebody else will.

Customer begins to beat the salesman up and both run off stage.

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