Monday, July 5, 2010

Reggie and the Colonel Skit

high socks, safari hat, glasses, mustache, gun, small knapsack, cane

Reggie, Bermudas, Colonel

Reggie is big and dumb. Bermudas wears high socks, safari hat, glasses, down on nose, mustache, carries gun in front of him. Colonel is short, limp, no gun, just small knapsack, has cane. They are walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking with pronounced English accent.

Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie, look… Did you see it, Reggie?
Reggie: See what? No, no, where, where?
Colonel: Oh, Reggie, it was a beautiful condor, 8 foot wing span, beautiful colors.
Reggie: No. I didn’t see it.
Colonel: Wish you’d pay closer attention. (They continue walking.)
Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie?
Reggie: No, what?
Colonel: A spotted zebra… wish you’d pay closer attention.
Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie? Did you see it?
Reggie: No, I missed it… what was it?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird.
Reggie: An ooh-aah bird. What’s an ooh-aah bird?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2 pound bird that lays a 3 pound egg, like this: oooooooooh aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (face lights up; continue walking).
Reggie: (whispers to audience) next time I’ll say yes-pretend like I saw it. I’ll fool him.
Colonel: Reggie, Reggie, did you see it? (Excited)
Reggie: I saw it, I saw it!
Colonel: Then why in heaven’s name did you step in it?!

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