Thursday, June 17, 2010

Mashed Potato Skit

Materials:
table, chair, pot, mashed potatoes

Characters:
customer, waitress, cook, audience plant, announcer

Directions:
A man comes into a restaurant and sits down. Waitress comes in and asks for order.

MAN: I’ll have a big pot of mashed potatoes.
WAITRESS: Is that all?
MAN: Yup.
WAITRESS: No beverage?
MAN: Nope. Just a big pot of mashed potatoes.
WAITRESS: No salad, or soup, or desert or anything?
MAN: Listen! All I want is a big pot of mashed potatoes.
WAITRESS: Well, O.K. I’ll tell the cook.

Waitress goes back into a wing off stage and in a voice which everyone can hear, tells the cook that there’s a weirdo out there that wants a big pot of mashed potatoes.

COOK: Is that all?
WAITRESS: Yup. That’s all he wants.
COOK: No salad?
WAITRESS: Nope.
COOK: No beverage or anything?
WAITRESS: Nope, just a big pot of mashed potatoes.

Argument goes on for a while. Finally the cook condescends and gives the waitress a huge pot of mashed potatoes (get the biggest pot you can find). Waitress brings the pot of potatoes out to the customer. He looks around suspiciously, lowers pot to the floor and sticks his head as far into the potatoes as he can — up to his neck. Then he proceeds to jam them into his mouth, ears, pockets, down his shirt, etc. Finally, waitress, standing there the whole time asks the man what the heck he’s doing with all those mashed potatoes. Man slowly looks up at the waitress with question mark on his face.

MAN: Mashed potatoes? I thought this was spinach!

Man stands up, turns and walks out. At this point everyone is confused, including the waitress. Suddenly she turns . . .

WAITRESS: Spinach — oh, I get it.

Waitress dives into the pot of mashed potatoes head-first, mashing them all over the place, in her hair, mouth, etc. Then she gets up and leaves. Finally the cook who has been watching the whole thing from a distance yells...

COOK: Spinach spelled backwards, I get it. Is that ever funny.

Goes through same procedures as man, and waitress. Now everyone is thoroughly confused. At this point, someone comes through with a sign saying, "What is spinach spelled backwards?" A plant in the audience then jumps up yelling that he gets it too, and dives into the pot, mashing it all over himself.

You can end the skit here by having the announcer come out and suggest to the crowd that if they think about it for a while, they’ll get it too. If this is to be the last skit of the night, the announcer might even come out and apologize for trying to put over such a crummy skit on the crowd. Then he pauses, and reflectively says "Spinach spelled backwards. . . Oh, I get it, and he dives into the pot too.

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