Thursday, June 10, 2010

Restaurant Skit

tables, chairs, coat rack, coat, hat, apron, hot dog, bowl, spoon, shorts

waiter, 3 guys

Two boys come into a third class restaurant; only one other customer is in there. One of the guys tells the other customer he should hang his coat and hat on the back of his chair instead of the coat rack because the restaurant has a bad reputation for stealing things. An Italian waiter with an accent comes in wearing a filthy apron. They begin to order. He has no menu but says that they have soup and hot dog.

1st Man: I’ll take the soup.
2nd Man: I’ll have the same
Waiter: Wait just a minute. If he takes the soup you have to take the hot dog.
2nd Man: All right, put some mustard on it please. (Waiter exits)
3rd Man: (who came in alone) Did you say they steal your coats?
1st Man: They’d steal the shirt off your back if they thought they could get it.
3rd Man: Well I’m going to keep and eye on mine. (Watches his coat on coat rack). I wish they’d take my order. I’ve been sitting here since before you came in.

The waiter enters, singing bits of Italian opera, carrying the soup in an ugly camping type kettle. He drops the spoon on the floor, wipes it off on his apron and hands it to the 1st man. He exits and returns with a bare hot dog in his hand and gives it to the 2nd man.
2nd Man: Waiter, I asked for mustard on my hot dog. This one’s plain.
Waiter: That’s a-right-a (looks over apron). Here’s some. (He wipes mustard from apron onto hot dog.)
1st Man: Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup.
Waiter: Quiet, or everybody will want one. (He takes the fly and squeezes it in the soup, while telling the fly, "Now you spit every bit of that out")
3rd Man: (disgusted, gets up to leave). "I’m getting out of here" (walks out in shorts-his pants have been stolen).

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.